“I don’t think anything is wr…. my flesh tells me their isn’t anything wrong with having sex if you are in a committed relationship”…. if you are going to take anything from this statement (NO JUDGMENT), it is the correction made mid sentence. The “my flesh tells me” part. I was having a conversation with my friend earlier this week about her entering in a new relationship and of course, knowing me, I asked was she sexually active. She seemed hesitant to answer and that was the statement that came out. No judgment this way. That is not my job. Her salvation does not rest in my hands. The only thing I can do and I will do, is pray for her.

Back to the “my flesh tells me” part. This is a daily struggle for me. My flesh constantly wants the driver seat and attempts to persuade my spiritual side to pop a squat in the back seat (not even the passenger side), trying to convince my spiritual self that their time will come. “Sit back and enjoy the ride. Your time to drive will come shortly”- says my flesh. EVERYDAY! When it comes to the thoughts I have, words I speak, music I listen to, places I go, people I entertain…and the list goes on.

Not trying to over exaggerate or be dramatic, but it’s real. With me on my spiritual walk and my words are slowly but surely starting to become actions, the enemy is steady plotting against me. Throwing curveballs here and there, with hints of temptations that, back in the day, would have caught my full attention. He doesn’t like me turning away from him so he is trying everything in his power to strengthen my flesh, my desires, my lusts, my (fill space here).

Its not a good feeling y’all- but very necessary. I want Christ to know that because he gave me free will, that I am CHOOSING to follow him. I am not hitting every corner perfectly, I stumble, but I am trying. I love him so much and always acknowledge his works that I don’t want to disappoint him. As much as my flesh wants to fulfill its own desires, it is not pleasing to God.

I just recently finished a book called Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman (GREAT read by the way !!!) He gives several examples in the bible of persons that claimed they wanted to follow Jesus but weren’t 100% all in. Meaning “I will follow Jesus when it is convenient for me” type of ordeal. He constantly applied it to current life and how everyday people “half-way” follow Jesus when it benefits us. In order for us to constantly remain in his will is to die to SELF; EVERYDAY!

(1) I have sex but I am in a committed relationship. We are only with each other so it is fine.

(2) I go to parties and drink but its not like I am getting drunk.

(3) I go out every Saturday but I make sure I am up every Sunday for church. Front row. Bible in hand.

(4) I listen to gospel music every Sunday but Monday through Saturday, and after church on Sunday, I listen to project pat (GUILTY)

You catch my drift. Loving God is great! Worshipping and praising and developing a relationship are all wonderful. But he wants our flesh to die, otherwise we will constantly be battling with both sides based on how we “feel” at that point and time

IT’S NOT ABOUT ME LORD. WHAT I WANNA DO..WHAT I FEEL LIKE DOING..WHAT I DON’T FEEL LIKE DOING. IT’S NOT ABOUT ME OH FATHER! I WANT MY LIFE TO REFLECT YOU! I KNOW ALL THE THINGS I PLACE IN MY PLANNER FOR ME TO COMPLETE ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS BUT WHAT TRULY MATTERS ARE THE THINGS YOU HAVE SET BEFORE ME TO COMPLETE. REMAIN IN THE FOREFRONT OF MY MIND EACH DAY LORD. THAT I DIE TO SELF AND MAY THE HOLY SPIRIT DWELL IN ME EVERYDAY LORD. RID ME OF MYSELF OH FATHER AND REST IN ME. KILL MY FLESH LORD. MAKE MY PURPOSE TO HELP BUILD THE KINGDOM. ITS NOT ABOUT SELF ACCOMPLISHMENTS, AGENDAS, RECOGNITIONS. WHEN I DIE, ALL THAT MATTERS IS HOW MANY SEEDS I PLANTED IN PEOPLE TO KNOW AND FOLLOW YOU….AS I AM ON MY JOURNEY TO FOLLOW YOU LORD. –AMEN

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me”- Matthew 16:24

 


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