Every year around this time for the past four years, a lot of pre-planning would take place for Homecoming. Figuring out what outfits to wear for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday festivities. Figuring out whom I’m going to mooch off of to get some alcohol in my red cup. Living carefree for an entire weekend. This was something I looked forward to every October since 2008. I never missed a Homecoming at MU. Not even when I went back to St. Louis for school shortly after the birth of Addyson. It was the norm. For Mizzou to be the birthplace of “Homecoming”, how could I not celebrate?
So for this to be my first Homecoming at MU that I am not participating in the nightly festivities is very new to me. I didn’t know how to approach it. Old friends have made their way back in town and I am excited to see them. Just like old times. Slowly came to my knowledge that if I were not attending a party, I would not be seeing half the people I anticipated. This is all so new to me. I was (am) tempted from every which way. Those I partied with last year anticipating me to join again this year. Prior to this weekend it never crossed my mind. I even became bumbed out at the thought of me not joining in on the festivities. Bumbing it out on the couch scrolling through my Twitter timeline to live vicariously through everyone else. I began to miss my old life. Even after becoming a new creature within Christ on September 16, for a weekend I just wanted to live my old life. Isn’t that just like the enemy to try to tempt you with past habits ??
It wasn’t until I made a late night trip to Wal Mart that God brought forth clarity to me. (Technically like 2 hours ago). I always like to late night shop due to it not being a heavy crowd…I was wrong tonight. College kids in club attire cruising through the alcohol aisle to get some last minute pre-game essentials. I’m just trying to pick up some last minute things for the house. I even saw a couple of kids my little brother graduated with….in 2011! I felt so old!!! I finally made it to the line after seeing a handful of kids making their way to their destination somewhere downtown tonight. Bottle in hand and attire to turn heads. It actually hit me that THAT WAS ME! That was me hanging with my female friends getting last minute alcohol to “turn up” for the night. That was me looking for the shortest/tightest outfit with intentions to get “chose” for the night. This was what I considered fun! That was me!
I immediately began to shout in the car. Okay not shouting for real but I began a conversation with God on the way home just constantly thanking him for grace. Thanking him for probing my heart to the point where I could no longer avoid him. In the midst of me “living that life” I always knew that God was not happy with me. I always knew. The conviction was never heavy enough to keep me from doing so….until this year.
That is my prayer for everybody out this weekend. I am not in a position to judge nor am I trying to. I pray that God keeps you all over this weekend just like he did me. Even the times we engage in things we have no business doing, Homecoming or not, he keeps us under his grace and mercy. Remember that. Homecoming is supposed to be a fun time. It is tradition. I just pray that tradition shifts to a more glorifying custom. To all my friends out “turning up” right now, be safe and stay warm. Love y’all!
So for this to be my first Homecoming at MU that I am not participating in the nightly festivities is very new to me. I didn’t know how to approach it. Old friends have made their way back in town and I am excited to see them. Just like old times. Slowly came to my knowledge that if I were not attending a party, I would not be seeing half the people I anticipated. This is all so new to me. I was (am) tempted from every which way. Those I partied with last year anticipating me to join again this year. Prior to this weekend it never crossed my mind. I even became bumbed out at the thought of me not joining in on the festivities. Bumbing it out on the couch scrolling through my Twitter timeline to live vicariously through everyone else. I began to miss my old life. Even after becoming a new creature within Christ on September 16, for a weekend I just wanted to live my old life. Isn’t that just like the enemy to try to tempt you with past habits ??
It wasn’t until I made a late night trip to Wal Mart that God brought forth clarity to me. (Technically like 2 hours ago). I always like to late night shop due to it not being a heavy crowd…I was wrong tonight. College kids in club attire cruising through the alcohol aisle to get some last minute pre-game essentials. I’m just trying to pick up some last minute things for the house. I even saw a couple of kids my little brother graduated with….in 2011! I felt so old!!! I finally made it to the line after seeing a handful of kids making their way to their destination somewhere downtown tonight. Bottle in hand and attire to turn heads. It actually hit me that THAT WAS ME! That was me hanging with my female friends getting last minute alcohol to “turn up” for the night. That was me looking for the shortest/tightest outfit with intentions to get “chose” for the night. This was what I considered fun! That was me!
I immediately began to shout in the car. Okay not shouting for real but I began a conversation with God on the way home just constantly thanking him for grace. Thanking him for probing my heart to the point where I could no longer avoid him. In the midst of me “living that life” I always knew that God was not happy with me. I always knew. The conviction was never heavy enough to keep me from doing so….until this year.
That is my prayer for everybody out this weekend. I am not in a position to judge nor am I trying to. I pray that God keeps you all over this weekend just like he did me. Even the times we engage in things we have no business doing, Homecoming or not, he keeps us under his grace and mercy. Remember that. Homecoming is supposed to be a fun time. It is tradition. I just pray that tradition shifts to a more glorifying custom. To all my friends out “turning up” right now, be safe and stay warm. Love y’all!
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