I pretty much suck at this whole “blog consistency” thing. It’s things I want to write about never gather all my thoughts and type on my Mac. But this one subject has been on my heart to express. Piggy-backing off of my previous blog about “What’s Your Motive”, I became heavily convicted in my own doings. Let me explain.

For the past three weeks and some change, I’ve been on this whole health kick. I’ve been in the gym at least 4x a week every week and attempting to change my diet by eating healthier foods and cutting out the fast food. I’ve even started this whole “water only” diet for the past two weeks meaning any beverage I consume (excluding Gatorade, chocolate milk, and post workout smoothies), I can only drink water. It is really all-mental. I have never been this motivated to be fit and in shape. I am not really out of shape but don’t let my small frame fool thee. I have a very poor diet and even get tired by bringing the laundry basket up the stairs. I also have the “skinny girl” pudge. Stand sideways and my stomach just protrudes; It’s only water weight though.

This new lifestyle has become very consuming. I’ve found other people on Instagram who are fit and live a healthy lifestyle and I’m always looking for new health recipes or new exercises I can do. It’s crazy man. It wasn’t until recently when I randomly asked myself, why am I REALLY trying to reform my body? (Out of the necessary of course). Is it because I am really trying to get healthy, cleanse my body of all its toxins, tone up the weight that I do have, or post pictures of my progress on Instagram for everyone to see and to obtain their compliments and approval? Is petty and crazy as that sounds, vanity is real man. I really had to check myself. I always take a picture of my progress and keep it in a Fitness folder in my photos but in the back of my mind I want to upload them on social networks. WHY THOUGH! I really had to ask myself.

Granted, I am very proud of the progress I’ve made compared to my previous habits but once it becomes consuming, it can become a problem. I also got to wondering, if I can be this disciplined and dead set on working out and what foods to eat and not to eat, why am I not this disciplined and dead set on living out the will of God?!?!?! BAM! Once that revelation came over me I really felt like slapping myself in the forehead. That’s real man. I’ve been stuck on only drinking water and having juice and soda in front of me but always siding with water, as hard as it is. I wake up in the morning when I still want to lay in bed and get a nice 2-hour workout in routinely when I could still be at home. These are new habits I’ve formed and remained disciplined. But when it comes to God, I waiver. I constantly position myself on the fence of indecisiveness; contemplating over things I know I shouldn’t do but still have a desire to do. Over things I am well aware God wants me to let go of but I keep a firm grip. This isn’t over anything specific, but my life in general. Is it because working out produces “instant” results? It’s easier to correct things that appear on the surface because everybody can see it and leaves room for judgment while the inside remains corrupt?

There are more people in this world more focused on shedding pounds than shedding sin. I am all for taking care of the temple and being healthy. All for it. But when our image takes precedence over our character…. Our Kingdom building character, it’s all for nothing.

To sum all this up, I encourage you to reflect on your motives and really ask yourself the reasons behind your doings. Is it the approval of man that drives you? The paycheck that appears in your bank account every Friday? Self-gratification? Fear of failure? I mean really. It is a reason behind everything, but if your sole reason isn’t to glorify God then you will spend all your time seeking something that is already given to you. Grace. I am not saying that we aren’t allowed to do things we enjoy, but corrupt intentions never have positive or fulfilling results. I praise God for heavy conviction, especially early on in my life. He be knowing man!! 

 


02/09/2013 4:19pm

Great great blog post!!!

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