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That is basically where I am at right now. Well technically, at this very moment, and bored beyond my mind but overall, I just wrapped up an internship in Columbia, MO where it has literally been just Addyson and I. It’s not like I am not familiar to this; I was here last summer with Addyson taking 9 credit hours but this summer is different.

I felt God tugging on my heartstrings even last summer, but I was too caught up in myself to give it any attention. Don’t get me wrong… I have always loved God and always took time out to pray…but what I wanted was all I was worried about last summer.

1)   I was taking 12 credit hours last summer, which then turned into 9 (What was I thinking) but I would always boast about it as if to get a pat on the back for my accomplishment.

2)   My 21st birthday would soon be arriving and I was highly anticipating it.

3)   I was worried about completing my classwork at home knowing Addyson needed my attention, but yet had time to entertain a lot of foolery.

4)   I was always on highway 70 to get to St. Louis to find something to get into because I was bored in Como….

See what I mean…it was all these “I’s” and “My’s”. God found a way to isolate me last summer in Columbia but I wasn’t prepared for the transformation that would be coming…hence, this summer’s isolation. Before I get there…

I would notice that different things would always happen with me in comparison to the crowd I was with. I’m just about the youngest out of my closest friends, give or take two others, so everyone else turned 21 before me. I made sure I gave my closest friends a gift, flowers, cards, or may have even paid for their meal. If I was lucky, I was able to participate in the 21+ festivities. Then it got around to my 21st birthday. It was on a Wednesday and I had to work and had class in Columbia, so technically, I spent it here. That weekend I went home, anticipating a weekend full of pure foolery that I thought my “friends” had all planned out for me. Boy was I wrong.

People would cancel on me left and right and my closets friends were not interested in going out but didn’t want to tell me. So there I was…frustrated, upset, confused…like “I live in Columbia and I come home excited about my birthday and no one is interested in celebrating with me!” I even had intentions on going to a club with my brother but ended up leaving my ID in my pants pocket at. God works in ultra mysterious ways.

 

What I felt last year was that my “friends” were selfish deliberately set out to ruin my birthday. I remained bitter for a very long time. Shoot…. I think I’m just now getting over it. But I digress….

What I’m getting at is, that was all God’s doing—not my assumption that my “friends” were being inconsiderate. God knew I didn’t have any business partaking in anything I had intended on partaking in. Gambling (I went but lost $2 so I quit), drinking (I was inebriated that Friday night but went back home), sex (Didn’t have any intentions but at that point in my life, the idea wasn’t far-fetched). Everything my flesh wanted to do had failed me because God saw fit that I didn’t do those things.

[Ever find yourself in an environment or around certain people and all you can think is “I don’t belong here.You try to force yourself to stay but it is just that feeling in the pit of your stomach that doesn’t sit well with you. It is there for a reason. Your purpose is deeper than your present state.]

As of now, I am in Columbia again this summer BUT my intentions were to be back in St. Louis. I was looking for internship after internship in St. Louis but either I never got word back or got denied after an interview. God didn’t want me in St. Louis this summer. He knew exactly where to place me. #OperationIsolation

It has literally just been Addyson and I—all summer—no babysitter or anything (outside of daycare). On top of that, my internship was unpaid. So I was enduring a no income, lonely summer. It’s not as bad as I am making it out to be, considering I understand the reason behind it.

This summer I have grown extremely close to God. This past March I returned my body back to Jesus by becoming Celibate (another blog post) and joined a church. I made the choice to give up alcohol at the beginning of the year but have had a few slip ups here and there (I have repented). I have taken action. I’ve been humbled at the fact of no-income BUT I have not NEEDED for anything. My rent is always taken care of, even if it is last minute and my bills have been paid…even at the VERY last minute. Gas is still in my car and even though Addyson daycare is always late, they get theirs too. I haven’t shopped, haven’t been to the movies, haven’t been out to eat, haven’t been to the hairdresser (well…once I think). All the luxuries I am used to haven’t been available to me this summer—but I am okay with that.

God made sure that I increased my faith in him that I am 100% he will take care of all my needs….and he has. I’ve been attending bible study and church routinely (this time last year I couldn’t say the same). I don’t have the same desires to go to parties, bars, and the likes. Couldn’t say the same for this time last year either.

I needed this isolation. I thank him for this isolation. I praise him for this isolation. I may be bored, but I am not lonely. God will do whatever it takes to get his time with you. It takes some people to experience a MAJOR eye opener in order for God to get his time; luckily, I am able to get subtle cues.

*Side note: My phone went haywire last night so I took that time I would usually be on Twitter to catch up on Genesis and read some other Christian blogs. God WILL get his time.

Take it from me. Whenever you are feeling lonely or feel you have too much idle time, which is not a coincidence. God wants his time with you. We have time for reality TV, Twitter, OT at work that we WANT and don’t NEED, the club….you catch my drift. He wants his time. It’s the LEAST we could do. It isn’t easy, but well worth it. Let me wrap this up. My Man is waiting on me to tell him about my day :) 

 
 
After doing some cleaning earlier this morning, I ran across a Daily Prayer that I took from a doctor’s office two years ago when Addy had the stomach flu. It holds the same meaning to me now as it did then, and it is a tremendous blessing that I found it. Not too detailed, and can apply to anybody who chooses to read.

THIS IS MY PRAYER

Dear Lord,

I thank you for this day. I thank you for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I’m blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you. I ask now for Your forgiveness.

Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from you.

Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things.

Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over. Let me continue to see sin through God’s eyes and acknowledge it as evil. And when I sin, let me repent, and confess with my mouth my wrongdoing, and receive the forgiveness of God.

And when this world closes in on me, let me remember Jesus’ example—to slip away and find a quiet place to pray. It’s the best response when I’m pushed beyond my limits. I know that when I can’t pray, You listen to my heart. Continue to use me to do Your will.

Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak. Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for those who are lost and can’t find their way. I pray for those who are lost and can’t find their way. I pray for those who are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those who don’t know You intimately. I pray for those who will choose not to continue reading this. I pray for those who don’t believe. But I thank you that I believe.

I believe that God changes people and God changes things. I pray for all my sisters and brothers. For each and every member in their households. I pray for peace, love, and joy in their homes, that they are out of debt and all their needs are met.

I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God. Every battle is in Your hands for you to fight. I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees them and every mouth that confesses them willingly.

This is my prayer.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 
 
I’ve been checked and put in my place y’all. Not rudely or disrespectfully—but a friend of mine spoke her mind about how I was coming off (unknowingly) and it gave me a greater perspective.

Basically, I’ve been on this whole Walk With Christ kick (not to minimize how important this walk is—I just like the lingo) and I’m learning that I have been coming off judgmental towards people around me just because I made the decision to strengthen my relationship with Christ. One of the ways I am doing so is by routinely going to church, and question why my friend doesn’t. Although I am questioning her church attendance jokingly, she seemed to think otherwise—as she had a right to feel as such.

“I won’t say that my feelings were hurt nor am I mad b/c neither are definitely true. But I will say that I felt like I was being judged last night by you on ALL levels. When you asked me am I saved, primarily b/c I don’t go to church every Sunday, really took me for a loop. By no means do I compare my Christianity to anyone else, but I would like to believe you know me well enough to know that I am saved. Christianity is not measured on how many times you go to church”—is what a great deal of the text read.

I was shocked. I wasn’t offended or anything like that—just shocked. I hadn’t realized that I was giving off that type of vibe because that certainly wasn’t my intention. Nor did I realize I asked her was she saved—I don’t remember asking her that and if I did I am utterly surprised at myself, considering I am not saved yet.

Regardless if I said it or not, I felt compelled to apologize (and I did) because the last person I want to be is that judgmental/pushy Christian waving my lifestyle in everyone else’s face. That’s not me…intentionally.

I did it again this past Sunday. I was sitting in church and a friend of mine came and sat next to me, an hour after service has been going on. His first words were “how are you” while mine were “boy you late!” Dope…smacks forehead* I immediately felt embarrassed after I said it because I realized I had done it again. “Alana don’t you think he knows he’s late?! He doesn’t need you to remind him” is what I thought to myself.

I had to give myself plenty self-reflection on the type of person I was becoming and why I was becoming that way. In my walk with Christ, not only am I striving to build an everlasting relationship with Christ, I want to pull in people with me. I want to encourage those who are struggling—we can encourage each other. Just because I am no longer struggling in a certain area certainly does not give me the right to judge others who are currently in that season of struggle. I am human and have flaws to last for days. But I am working on it.

If you are reading this and have ever felt that I have judged, stereotyped or labeled you, I sincerely apologize for doing such. Honestly, many times I am unaware if I am doing that but I am praying for Him to rid me of the judgmental bug and replace it with encouragement. After all, if God sat in front of me and literally told me everything I have done, do, will do wrong…MAN…I don’t ever want to experience that. I apologize. Pray for me…as I am praying for you

 
 
As I stated in my previous blog posting, I am currently dealing with managing my emotions. I am learning that I am in a season of maturity and self-control—when you ask God to help you work on areas of your life, he does it. It hurts when you go through growing pains…it really does. Often times when we are being tested to develop our character, we think it is the devil when it is really God just answering requests. We ask for an abundance of faith, he places us in a situation to where we can’t do anything but have faith that all will be okay. We ask for patience, he places us in a situation to where we have no choice but to be patient. It hurts! Along with Christ-like characters that I am praying for, I am also praying for the strength to endure the season.

Not to divulge too much in what is exactly going on with me (to respect the privacy of the other person—blah blah blah), I am still enduring the hard ships of single-parenthood. As many single mothers—well single parents (don’t want to single out the fathers who are active, especially considering I plan to work with single fathers) – we go through times where we have these expectations. Expectations that the non-custodial parent is supposed to hold the same weight of responsibility of our kids like we do. When things do not happen as such, meaning we find ourselves doing any and everything for our child in the VOLUNTARY absence of the other parent, we grow frustrated. Frustrated, resentful, impatient, intolerable, non-understanding, petty—we (I) let our (my) emotions get the best of us (me).

I have days where I think I accepted the fact that I am a single mother – that I will be in the season of single parenthood until God says otherwise. In those days I go about my business like usual. Wake up, get Addy to daycare, go to school and/or work, pick Addy up, do my motherly duties, go to bed, and wake up and do it all over again. It has become routine. I am used to it being just her and I. Then there are days that I reflect on how I got into this situation. I reflect on how I didn’t create her by myself but it seems as though I did. I find myself questioning God’s decision to make me her sole caregiver and asking, “why can’t ___ just get his act together and help me with our child?” I grow angry; I feel resentment dwelling inside of me. Even a little bit of unforgiveness after I clearly stated I forgive him. Sigh

These are days I need to be knee-deep in prayer. That is the season I am enduring now. I am letting my emotions get the best of me…interfering my growing process of inheriting Christ like characters. I find myself saying things that I know I will be apologetic for immediately after—even during. I find myself thinking thoughts I know I will be repenting for immediately after. Feeling things that are not of him…going back to the way I used to be and letting my spirit take a back seat to my flesh.

It is so easy to be the smaller person…in this case I really really really really want to be the smaller person. I just want to be petty. It is so much that I am on the cusp of saying, but I have come too far to revert back to the old Alana. If you are reading this, please keep me in your prayers. This may not seem like a serious issue to you…but animosity and resentment are very toxic and can harden hearts. I am praying to do the opposite. When I say I forgive, I want to mean it no matter what happens…now and forever.

 
 
So my family has gone through a lot to say the least within the past seven months; more so within the past two months. It all kicked off with my little brother getting shot in April (Praise God for keeping him), to just about all of my parents siblings being admitted in a hospital for some reason. All three of my father’s sisters and my mother’s brother have been in the hospital. (1) My aunt April was recently diagnosed with bladder cancer so she is dealing with that (2) My uncle Quinton just had major heart surgery to correct his leaky heart valve (3) My aunt Violet had to get shock treatment on her heart to prevent it from going under cardiac arrest—she has an enlarged heart (4) My aunt Helen (Evon) had a heart attack this past weekend and was in a coma for a little over 24 hours. Praise God, she woke up from her coma this morning (July 22, 2012). Not to mention tomorrow (July 23,2012) will mark the three-year anniversary of my fathers’ brothers passing. As you can imagine, a lot of emotions have been weighing on my parents shoulders, but through it all, God has kept my family and I under his mercy and grace.

One thing that I did notice in the midst of all this, despite my praying over my family members, I still let the issues I am dealing with, surface their way up to overly important matters—when they really don’t deserve it. I managed to succumb to my own emotions during times where my prayers over my family mattered most (not to say that my prayers don’t usually matter). I’ll describe this more in my next blog—I just wanted to introduce it in this one.

Overall, words really cannot describe how grateful I am for the magnificent works God has done for my family. Thank you seems far from enough

 
 
After me venting to Candess about my struggling time in Orlando and her sending me self-reflection questions, she decided to answer them on her own. Goes as follows:

1) How much alone time do I spend with God?
At LEAST 5-10 minutes. Sometimes more. What Im finding is that the time I spend with Him doesn't have to be the same thing. Sometimes its the bible...maybe a date a conversation, journaling, listnening to a sermon, reflection is always a good one for me. 

2) Who is in my environment?

I've been blessed with some AWESOME Men and Women of God that I actually like and get along with. A lot of Christian's neglect the notion that just because I love Christ and you love Christ, doesn't mean we're gonna automatically get along. The crew I got meshes naturally. We click SO easily. Everyone is concerned with God's plan for the season they're in right now. It's easy to be myself..flaws and all. Unfortunately, I don't see them everyday and a few of my closest friends have yet to accept Christ as their Lord & Savior. This sucks...sometimes. My mind is actually the worst! 


3) What areas of me are still broken?

Adapting the mind of God. I'm still pretty judgemental and lie about stupid things. Like not even kinda important little stupid things. My lack of Obedience.

4) Have I really forgiven myself?

I have. It wasn't that long ago, but I have. 
5) Have I really forgiven those who have hurt me?

Again, it wasn't that long ago....but I have. 

6) Have I surrendered my all to Christ (or do I still try to control)?

I have! HOWEVER, I still be tryna neogtiate with God. Accepting His will means accepting His timing in my life. God is also teaching me that faith just is. When I tell you to move, you move. "Your faith should be so fast that your feelings don't have time to react"

7) Do I even know how to do number 6?

He is the way, the TRUTH, the life, DYING TO FLESH! 

8) What does salvation really mean?

MAN!! I could go ON about this one!! But i'll sum it up with this: My death, burial, and resurrection that's possible ONLY because of His death, burial, and resurrection. Im a sinner drowning in the SAME Grace that freed me! Walking in His vision. FREEDOM. True Freedom! 

9)What am I feeding my spirit?

WHOLE FOODS.......with a little Junk food every here and there. It's gotten better. Twitter will trip me up every now and then. I be havin to deactivate dawg....I've cleaned out my itunes but old school R&B hasn't left yet. #alanaknows lol 


10) Do desires of the world still motivate me?

Not like they used to. The thought to do something worldly will arise in my head and I have to pray about it. I won't say Im MOTIVATED by the desires of the world, but they're not gone from my life. ex: when I began working on my 1/2 sleeve, I was inspired by art but I was motivated by the approval of others and the fact that they thought I wasn't "BOLD" enough to do it. Though I LOVE IT and am proud of it, God has showed me that my heart was in the wrong place when I got it. He's reminded me that Im unique enough. There's nothing to prove and CERTAINLY NOT to man. Good thing He showed me this to because if the world was to hate me tomorrow for having it, I'd be crushed because that's where I found my validation. The boldness we need in Christ, is deeper than being a spectacle in public because you've changed your appearance. Me being a Christian makes me stand out enough. lol

11) Am I regularly confessing my sins?

Every single day! I try to find a scripture or literature to combat it too! this thing is a DAILY effort!
 
 
Dear Miss Alana,

God has so much favor over your life that it would take you 6564645353 lifetimes to fully comprehend. That’s the beauty of life though. Don’t try to seek understanding, rather have faith and be thankful for all the many blessings he pours over your life. All the things you once thought were the start of the end of your world were just petty milestones to get you where you are now. If someone told you that you would be the mother of a two year old mini-you would you have believed them? Of course you wouldn’t. At the age of 18 the only worries that ever came across your head was what to wear at the party that following weekend. But God had a different plan for you. Becoming with child at such a young age you didn’t know which fork in the road would be available to you and although HE didn’t praise you for your actions, he made/makes sure that you have absolutely nothing to complain about. Look at your life! You have the most supportive family anyone could ever ask for. You may not always understand nor care for the advice that Mr. & Mrs. Flowers give you but just know that they have and will ALWAYS have your best interest at heart. 

Remember the nights where you cried holding your pregnant belly after coming to the conclusion that you are and will be a single mother? Here and now, you are preparing to walk across the stage as of December 2012; you are a full-time student/parent that wakes up every morning to go to class only to start your second shift when Addyson comes home from daycare. Many look up to you for your ambition and drive to do better not only for you but for your child as well. Days seem hard but have you noticed that every time you feel like you are on the brink of breaking down, the Lord comes as a knight in shining armor and you are back on your feet again. So once again, give continuous praise for this is only the beginning of all the blessings you have in store. You have absolutely nothing to complain about.

 
 
When on my vacation in Orlando over the 4th weekend, I was conversing with Candess about how I was ready to come back home; how bored and frustrated I was; how I felt like I was out of God's presence by me being away that long. Fortunately, me venting helped out more than I thought it would. She sent over a list of questions for me to give myself a check up on my relationship with Christ and other areas of my life. These were VERY helpful and forced me to dig deep into myself to retrieve the answers. These questions are, I believe to be, very helpful to those who need a Self Check Up.

1) How much alone time do I spend with God?

Depends: Every morning I thank him for waking me. Quite often throughout the day when I’m on twitter or just personally interacting with people, I’ll say a prayer in my head for people-whether they ask or not. I say my grace for every meal. Every night before I go to bed I say my prayers. I thanks God for everything that happens to me and repent for my wrong doings—BUT—often times it feels like routine. Like something I’m supposed to do because I am so used to doing it.

2) Who is in my environment?

That depends too. While I’m in Columbia, it is just Addyson and I. I have very few negative and tempting influences around me in Columbia. When I’m back home in STL, it is a completely different scene. I have my family which can often be home of my frustration. Then I have my friends and associates who I entertain STILL, even though they partake in stuff that I would rather give up..but I choose to continue.

3) What areas of me are still broken?

On-going tension between my father and I. Failed relationship between Addyson’s father and I.

4) Have I really forgiven myself?

I always think I forgive myself for what I used to do and who I used to be—but ultimately—I haven’t. I often think back to things I’ve done and feel a cringe in my stomach and a sense of embarrassment. Too many times. I entertain conversations with people who bring up my past and get defensive. If I truly forgave myself, I could care less what others think/say and keep it moving. I’ve already been forgiven..why can’t I humble myself to forgive myself.

5) Have I really forgiven those who have hurt me?

And again—I always think I forgive others—then there are times when I catch myself in my feelings and grow angry at just the thought. I always feel like I forgive Addyson’s father but have times where I grow angry…out of no where. I try not to think of my molester…I’m not sure if I can ever forgive him. My parents—still too touchy. Other petty situations, I tend not to give too much attention. Not sure if I forgive but I no longer care..if that makes sense.

6) Have I surrendered my all to Christ (or do I still try to control)?

I’ve spoken with my mouth that the Lord is more than welcome in my heart and have confessed and repented my sins—but have I surrendered my all to Christ? No. I still try to have control over some areas of my life. Some areas I have given over to God but not all. It can be a scary thought to let go..but I know I need to.

7) Do I even know how to do number 6?

No

8) What does salvation really mean?

Freeing yourself of the bondages of the world and falling under the mercy and grace of God—letting HIM be the Father that he is and take care of his child. No anxieties, fears, or worries because you have so much Faith that God’s Will will always take care of you; whether we are in agreement or not. God knows best.

9)What am I feeding my spirit?

A mixture of nonsense, worldly matters, and a hint of Godly matters. Sadly, I based a lot of things off of how I am feeling. I let the world weigh in on me and continue to push Him away while I’m in my feelings. Case in point…I’m listening to Drake right now smh.

10) Do desires of the world still motivate me?

YES! While in Orlando I still wanted to hit up the club. I wanted to shop for clothes that aren’t flattering to my walk with Christ. I #lowkey wanted to engage in petty gossip. I got overwhelmed in the thought of being without a job this summer and bummed out on how I don’t have any income. I placed money as an idol. I kept listening to Project Pat. This is a process for me y’all…a very hard process.

11) Am I regularly confessing my sins?

Every single day—the only thing with that is, I’m not sure if I really mean it or I am just so used to saying it that it has become routine. I have conviction and feel bad and want him to forgive me. Not for the sake of me knowing he will, but because I do get tired of living wrong. I want him to know my heart yearns to be near him each and every second of every day.

 
 
Just about 10 minutes ago, I gave a few words of encouragement to a friend of mine --which inspired this new posting. Another fellow student-parent that I know (we’ll call her Terry for the blog sake) recently got her IPod stolen out of her car. The reason Terry is so distraught is because her iPod had all the pictures of her daughter in it since the baby was a newborn. She placed the pictures on her iPod due to her laptop crashing and the father lost the SD card so the iPod was her primary source to hold the pictures. Besides the fact that theft is very petty, disrespectful, and basically…. a sin-- as a parent, I completely understand how she feels. I have almost 2000 pictures in my phone. 80% of them are of Addy alone. She brings home artwork multiple times a week from daycare and I attempt to save as much as I can in a shoebox.  I saved my baby shower balloons, bracelets I wore in the hospital during delivery, and even the stub of her umbilical cord in her keepsake box. She is my firstborn so I try to keep as much as a can.

When trying to give words of encouragement to her, I came to my own realization. I told her how much I understood why she was upset and that I was sorry but I also told her not to be attached to wordly objects. Yes our pictures and items from different times in our life are important to us, but they are of the world. God willing, I will always have good memory to remember all the precious moments of my child. We are not here to develop emotions over wordly objects. Our homes, cars, clothes, jewelry, cell phones, money, electronics…list goes on. All these things are important to us but when we tie emotions into them, they become idols.

All things we put above God are idols. We can spend hours looking at our Twitter TL (people don’t be talking bout nothing!) but rush through our prayers...if we pray at all; we can stand in line for some hours for some J’s or a video game but complain when church is going past it’s typical hours; working multiple hours a week just to skip church Sunday because we are too tired.

We put so much worth and power into these wordly things not realizing God is a jealous God and has the power to take it all away in the blink of an eye. Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world-the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions-is not from the Father but is from the world 1John 2:15

I am not saying that Terry lost her iPod because she loved it so much and God decided to remove it from her life. It inspired me to talk about how we as humans tie our emotions into worldly things and how it can weigh heavy on us when we lack those worldly things.

It is okay to place value and worth onto things we possess. But as I just figured out, Money is not the root of all evil- The LOVE of money is the root of all-evil. You can replace the word “money” with any other noun we tie emotions to. 

 
 
It's been a minute since I've been able to blog and I figured it's about that time. Glad I was able to go through something to help someone else. Story goes as follows....

My family and I (parents and younger brother) are all in Orlando,FL for a vacation. We departed on the 4th and won't be returning until the 9th. Nice get-a-way—no work—no kids (Addyson)—just good family time enjoying cousins who happen to live in Florida. That is the mindset I should have kept throughout the trip-but of course-my spoiledness always tends to appear. 

This is my first time in Florida, first time seeing Disney World and Orlando Studios, first time on a beach—but yet— I still managed to grow....bored. I grew frustrated at the fact that I would be with family for the next five days..straight. My every move would be restricted due to lack of transportation. Where they would go I would have to go. Age appropriate things open for me to do were unavailable to me due to my little brother only being 19. God knows what he being doing though. I wanted to get into clubs and I wasn't able to. I complained rather than thanking God for keeping me from something that COULD have happened. I complained about being around my family for five days straight rather than praising God that I have a loving family to be stuck with. 

I complained about always being in the third row of a car site-seeing rather than praising God that I was sitting in a well air-conditioned vehicle taking me places I could never see back in St.Louis. I let frustration and pettyness overcome me for several hours. I mean I was in Disney World and Universal Studios..these are things I've only seen on television. (We didn't go inside the actual park..tickets cost $90..AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!) But I was still there. Amongst a myriad of cultures—so much diversity. But typical Alana, always finding something to complain about. *Sigh* I've came to my senses though. 

Needless to say, I am enjoying myself. No work, no child (although I miss her very much) just plain ol' vacation. Thank you Jesus for this blessing. I appreciate it.